nowhere`s-where-i-belong

2006-11-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

SIGHS*
im back after a whole month of sadness.
ouhk lahhs.
at first was very happy.
quite fun.
went iceskating with cousins.
go shopping with rynn.
but BOYS.
they're nuisance.
eeeeyyyyeeer.
i'd rather remain single.
aku reject yang laen.
amek dyer.
dyer maen tymer.
keh fyne.
i'll maen tymer too.
beware guys.
im sorry.
i really broke down after e 15th ex.
YUCKS.
im sick of boys.
all playboy and tho they're hot.
but SHUCKS!
omaga!
how terrible they're image and personality are.
UGGGGGGLY.ihate.
eesshs.
neber miyne.
noe i wanna be single-mingle
its e best.
BETTER than having plastered harrt
even tho i was'nt even hurt actualli.
cumer malas and sick.
SICK of all of em
niwaes.
i wanna withdraw frm e dancework07 grp.
sharul and radin syafie also.
so yahhs,.
we're sooreh.
just not in thu mood.and i dunnch wanna waste tym mixing with
*******.
gays.
ehhhehheees.
im so fucking evil.
yahhs.

lemme be on my own
im better off like this.
no one needs her
nor do they need me.
i'll stay alone and drink up my sorrows.
e darkness off this lyfe i cant deny.
unaware that im hartbroken.
they lead on an easy lyf.
shurrks!
get on with lyfe.,
i say.
get on with this dark,hurtfull lyfe.
i swear upon yoo.
if yoo make me cry once more.
yoo'll suffer.

rynn,make a song.
we need a fren.
ahhaks.
byes.im off
nth else tuh say.

2006-10-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

hiies.
back to where i belong yeahhs.
hmms.urrhms.
i wanna blog abt the day i went rayer with
kak roslinda,kak elly,e radins,diana,farah,fariz,sharul,sharil,arifin,cousin syafiq,syafie,alex and gf.[shioks if go with a lot of ppl]
very e fun larhhs.
it was on friday,27'10.06
went to diana's house first.
cuz it was e nearest.
e boys dint wanna go in until BRAVE,SUPPORTIVE arifin went in.
WOW!so gentleman larhhs.
then we spend quite a time in e hse.
then get our GREEN PACKET and off we went.
the boys loitered ard sumwhere[wasting times] so me,ros,elly,diana and farah went to jamils house.
fariz,alex and gf followed.
we scanned through jamils photo album.
saw HIM.so cute.but tat one no feeling liaos.
now im HEARTTINGS uhhrs.cannot say.
then surprise surprise.e other part of e group came.
was shocked.but nvm.
freaking hell.they kept on teasing me abt something i dunno.
jamils brother joinned in.
i knew they were talking abt me.
so i turned the other way so as not to show my turned off face.
radin[sec 1]kept on saying 'adilah,amik gambar.[take pic]'
WTH!what the hell is wrong with him?crazy.
ok then off to ERINS.
this part went SO AWFULLY FSCKING BAD.
i was in e bus.wanting to drop off at erins place.
then the bus jerk and i bump into a lady and her handbag fell.
the bf was so fucking angry.
he wanted to slap me.but wen he saw that i was a gal he stopped.
his gf too stopped him.[silent thnks]
i was so shocked.trauma.angry.sad.
so moody after tat.kak ros and farah tried to calm me down.
radin was shiok sendiri saying that the guy takleh kenek sikit.
100% agrees.
erins house quite big.watched bring it on.fell asleep.
and radin was like.OI GI UMAH ORG TIDO?![go ppls house to sleep ah?]
i was like OMG.i slept.just grinned and tried staying awake.
then went to martins.
nothing special.just lost our way.
e girls were all in moody mood.
especially farah.
then elly had to go.kissed goodbye.
went to syazana's next.[aka as syazwani's cuz siblings]
the mood picked up from there.
MAGIC ahhs.
took some pics.
and ate alot.[kuih rayer.]
then e boys added some magic potion into us.
we suddenly laughing.
i think radin and fariz did it.
AHHAS.THANKIYEWS.<3>
after tat FARAH's.
we were laughing like mad pigs watching some pervertic show called party boy.
FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN
ate 2 chicken wings[sumptious].
ate dessert.[pronounced as DESERT by radin]hees.
then got hong bao.
alex's gf took 2.evil evil.
*grins*i rejected e second one.
then off to fariz.
then to syfiqs.
heys.e mum recognised me.e sis too.
*COUSINS*
then took taxi to amk mrt.with radins and ros.
ros payed.
went home.
ooops.need to cut short.
cuz fariz just called me to say that im supposed to be there now.
WOOPSIES.
ehhhekks.sorry ahhs.
we're going rayer again.
so yeahs.
till here yeahhs.
<3 LOTTS.

2006-10-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

heyy guys!
uhhrhhs.im back from my long hibernation.

first of all my results SUCKS like shit.
u dunn wanna know it im telling you.
countless of C5's.

then i thot things were gonna pick up after that.
but it WENT so wrong!!!!
wrong!!!
NONONO!
went to sembawang country club and i was scared to death.
denise was practically sobbing her tears out.
wun not like to mention the school's name.
but seriously,u all very crazy lehs!!!!
because of this type of things must fight.
just because of some stupid words we dint even mention.
was quite relieved when huey fen told me to hurry out of the ladies.
THANKIYEWS HUEY FEN.APPRECIATE MUCHS.<3
but seriously the girls from the other school were really too much.

when i thot that matters could not get any worse,it did.
that sharul tripped me.
ok it was not that painful but SHARUL,ARE YOU NUTS?
fancy tripping me there.
what if i had fell down.
i will not only be embarassed;but u too wil get into trouble.
but actually i dint care.
he's just trying to be playful.

played truth or dare(tear) in bus.
quite fun.
then went to mac's.
with FEL and HWEE XIAN.
they went to eat instants noddles.
(never tell me.i can save money lor!)

then the cyclone came.
fariz came and tell us that diana is angry with us because she said that me abd farah called her egoistic.
so this goes to her;diana.1/C'06.

to diana:
eys.we never ever said that word on you.i dunno who the hell told u that but i swear upon god,allah kitab suci al-quran that i NEVER said that.the only person that i used the word on is a sec 3 malay guy(dun wish to mention his name).we really never said anything abt you okes.ok i admit that i actually dint like you that tym because sumone told me that u said some evil things abt me to the boys.i cant reveal who because you guys will attack her once you knew.but the hatred was gone wen i thot abt it.then suddenly u say that we talk evil of you.diana,aku sumpah sial.aku tak pernah cakap aper aper psl kau.even wen the time i dint like u.but heys.im now okay with you.so can we forget abt the pasts.i really want u guys to enjoy the ari rayer activity.but things are so so so so WRONG.i hope this will be settled by this night.or not.things will worsen.

thats all larhhs!!!im fed up larrhs.
i swear i did nothing.
why am i getting all this accusing thingy.
uhhhrhhs.
anyway.
i realise that erhem2 is REALLY cute.
im so in love with him.
so happy im so NEAR him.
ahhas.
erhem2;i've never felt love for you more than ever.
HEARTS.
DEEP IN THOTS.
wil i confess?
nahhs!!
actually many of the girls know liao larhhs.
so it doesnt matter uhhrs.

ok thens.time to call fariz up and settle things.
but i know he'll be super duper angry.
time to go.

2006-10-01T06:24:00.000-07:00

f****ing stupid singapore currency!!!!
all because of the poor electricity,i have to relink everybody again!!!!!!!!
and its like over 60?70?people!!!!
go and switch on the ironing???
for what?????
now everything's gone!!!! k fine
noone knows what im blabbering abt cuz im really angry...must go and study again now!!!!!!!
so i have to go and relink next time!!!!!
stupid people!!!!!!
fine im stupid too????
stupid enough to not save some first!!!!!!
F***!!!!!!
im really pissed off!!!!!!
seriously!!!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
forget it!!!!!!!
im a nothing!!noone ...
i mean everyone thinks i am a bitch!!!!
like LP!!!!!!
thanks a lot!!!!

2006-10-01T04:26:00.000-07:00

ahhs!!
dint have the time to blog all the way yesterday and on friday..
FYE coming so yeah,buzy luhhs!!
and guess what?!!!
NOTHING absorbed into this stupid brain of mine.
i dunno how im gonna pass man!!!!
AHHHHS!!!!!!!
sorry mum.
sorry dad.
sorry friends.
i guess i'll just have to face this crisis!!!!
mrs FYE will come on WED and then;i will be FIRED into outta space.
THEN,some PPL will be elated!!!
happy yeah???
i wonder how i did in my HMT....
i think my COMPO sure outta point...
i hope mr ESFAN wun be so pelokek with the marks..
*pelokek*;stingy
life is beginning to be AWFUL!!!!
EVERYTHING`s practically going wrong.
i get so f***ked up nowadays..
and the SENIORS are yeahhs!!!
*poof*
GONE FOREVER!!!!!
those who think im influenced;yeahhs..
you guys can go and pop a champagne but HONESTLY!!!
i wunn join in cuz you dunno how i feel right now...
its like they have been there for the three of us[shamin,rynn and me]
and now they're going....
those three guys!!!!i'll forever treasure them...
its hardly easy to get friends like them nowadays.
well,even though they're uhhh NOTTI!!!!
but they're WAYYYYY fun...
i was very the HAPPY when denise understood me but
i just gotta know that she TOO think im influenced!!!
GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!!!
if you dunn like me its okay!!!
i can leave!!!!
but hey dun ferget i can LIVE too!!!
but i seriously think that you guys shud get to know them
THEN YOU'll understand..
otherwise;its gonna be BAD!
for me and you.
so yeahh!!!!
how will you feel if you're from a not so good class..
and then everybody hatez you guys just because you are from a less capable class like them ??
how will you feel???
HAPPY???
no right....obvious!!!!
so yahh!!!!try to understand them...
im not choosy!!!
if you can mix with me,then i'll love you ...
if not,its okay...
life is not so bad afterall...
and the MALAYS!!!!
HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!!!!!
i still love you guys!!!
no matter what!!!!
you're still my bestfriend.
even if im a bitch to you guys!!!!
okaes????

LIST OF THE GIRLS I TREASURE A LOT!!!
[not in order or whatsoever]
*DENISE*
*HIDAYAH*
*FARAH*
*RYNN*
*SHAMIN*
*AYU*
*SIVAKAMI*
*FELICIA*
*CELINE*
*WEI KIANG*
*JUN WEN*
*CHERYL*
*MEI YI*
*HWEE XIAN*;remember the *****ges hunt!!!
*CHLOE[I/3]*
*WEI YI*
*MEL*
*YU QING*

LIST OF BOYS I TREASURE A LOT!!
[in no order or whatsoever]
*ROYHAN*
*TALIB*
*ARIF*
*JUSTIN*
*JIA QI*
*BENJAMIN*
*FARHAN*
*JIE SHI*
*ZHE YU*
*HENRY*
*DARYL*
*YANG YANG*
*WINSTON*
*YUE SHEN*

there there....
anyway this is to felicia!!!

dear felicia,

thanks for always being there for me.i really appreciate it.i cant thank you enough.now i know why a lot people love you.and now i really love you to the core!!!you're a great friend.i treat you like a bestfriend if you wanna know.when someone talk evil of you,i cover up for you cuz you're not evil!!!you're so sweet and nice...thanks a lot fel!!!and celine,wei kiang,hwee xian,denise and jun wen...thanks a whole lot!!!i really appreciate your precense when i was feelin a little down that time!!THANKS!!!!!

2006-09-29T07:20:00.001-07:00

ahhh!!!
SENIORS!!!!i love YOU guys!!!!
gonna miss you ALOT.
ALOT.ALOT.ALOT.ALOT.
royhan,talib,arif,justin,sivakami and farhan,as well as,jamil.
wahhh!!!!
sedih seyy...

2006-09-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

hi...in ava room now..
hidayah all now dancing to beep
ahhas..
this few days very sad...
a lot of misunderstandings and so on...
gonna miss all the seniors
you noe who i mean..
will miss him so much lah..
a lot of things happening in smses...
*sigh*
i hate this...few more days and.
*poof*
they're gone...
sadd right...

farah***
haiz...todae damn LAME...
got two tests...
argh!!!
didn't remmember all the maths thingy
SHIT!!
okie now i really feel worthless...
eu guys may find at im happy go lucky but in inner ME
im just not myself

kla...
ADILAH's gotta go now..
bubbye..

2006-09-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

ehhs!!!pls lahhs!! :((
im so not emo ok!!!
if i wan be emo i will wear my bag black and red,
my shoes black and red...
and be so emo-ness....
stop asking me if my concept emo!!!
cuz im no emo!!!!
i just use this skin cuz it potraits how i feel for loving someone..
well..not exactly love...dunno lahh!!!
ppl ask me if it's royhan....nah!!!!
i still love my bro ok...its just.....argh!!!!i hate it la!!!
whatever!!!!!!!
anyway,seriously...thot that ariff is weird....but trust me!!!
he's more than that....he's FUN!!!siak ah...macam maner...
tak abis abis sial...tu je kau ckp..anyway,it was fun tokin to you guys...
why was i scared of them at the first place....MONSTER!!!ok ok...

2006-09-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORYY SORRY SORRY
20 SEPTEMBER 2006
THE MOST HURTING DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!I MADE NEW NICE FRIENDS OUTSIDE!BUT THOSE WHO I REALLY TREASURE,I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS!!!ROYHAN,TALIB,ARIF,AHSYRAFF,AZRI AND ALL THE GUYS!!!IM SORRY IF I VERY NGADA NGADA ATAU STEP MANJA!!SORRY IF I GIVE YOU GUYS THE MEAN LOOK !!ROYHAN,IM MOST CONCERNED ABT..MY DEAR BROTHER..IM SORRY!!!PLS...IN THE AFTERNOON I WAS ALREADY PISSED OFF BY MY FRIENDS...THEN THE WHOLE SAD DAY TURNED OUT MORE MISERABLE..THE NCC AIR NEVER TELL THE PROPER ATTIRE TO WEAR(LONG PANTS ALL THOSE) SO I WAS ALREADY SOOOOO SCARED!!I DINT MEAN TO SAY THOSE WORDS(I SLAP YOU UHH!!!)IM REALLY A DISSAPPOINTMENT!IM A LETDOWN.BUT YOU WANN ME TO CHANGE.AND I WILL..FOR YOU.I DUNN WANNA LOSE YOU!!YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD..WITHOUT YOU MY LIFE'S EMPTY....NO SURPRISES!!NO BATMAN!!AND I AINT BE ANY DUMBLEDOORE!!I SERIOUSLY DINT MEAN IT!!!IT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!SORRY!!:((
I WANN US TO BE LIKE ALWAYS....THE FUNNY ROYHAN AND THE PATHETIC ADILAH!!!ALL THE SEC 4 AND 3 SENIORS,IM SORRY IF I ACTED SO EXTRA..I WANTED TO MAKE FRENS BUT U ALL LIKE SO SCARY...TALIB,SORRY AH IF I STEP MANJA NAK MAPOS,SORRY!!!THAT'S ALL I GOTTA SAY!!TODAY IS THE MOST MEMORABLE DAY OF MY LIFE....

-FIGHT WITH LP(LP,SORRY IF I MAKE YOU ANGRY..I DUNNO WHY YOU HAYE ME BUT OH WELL,SORRY)

-NCC AIR DRESSING

-MAKE ROYHAN FUCKING ANGRY(REALLY SORRY...I DINT MEAN TO)

-FORBIDDEN CITY

-GO ARD THE CITYMALL FER AWHILE TO GET TO THE MRT...

-MAKE FRIENDS WITH FARHAN AND MANDY<3<3<3(FARHAN,YOU ANTI-BORING BUT IM NOT BORING!!!BLUEK!!I PROVE IT TO YOU!!!)

-GO TAKE THE BLOODY MRT WHICH SOME STUPID THINGS HAPPEN!!!

-GO HOME....

-HURT

-HURT

-HURT

-HURT

-HURT

-HURT

THATS ALLL!!!!

2006-09-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

I have forgotten how long was it
Since I last heard you,
Telling me you're sorry,
I have been thinking for a very long time,
I’m beginning to feel paranoid,
Did I make any mistakes again?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You came and tell me with the rejected news that made me burst to tears
That fairytales are all lies
It’s impossible for me to your true love,
Maybe you will understand
After the moment when you said you hated me
The stars in my sky, are beginning to fade and disappear away.forever.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
my dear boy; i truly love
why did uu reject me?
Open my arms wide
And let it become wings, to protect you,
You have to believe me,
Believe that we will be like the fairytale
With happiness and joy as the ending.

Everything is our beautiful ending.

2006-09-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

i feel so broken up!!!!
:((
there's nothing which can i depend on to now!!!!
well,except for my dar dar!!!!
a.k.a hidayah<3<3<3
a.ka. denise<3<3<3
a.ka farah<3<3<3
a.ka shuying too :))

haiz...maybe they think i like ermm...f****n,but seriously...my heart is else where!!!!
i still like ermm...malay girls shud noe bahh!!!
sad xia he like this...and EUU guys!!mind uu!!its NOT kyaw la..puh-LEASE!!he's just a fren!!!
and he certainly is a BASTARD!!!FUCK OFF LA BASTARD!!!ooopps!!!

why im treated this way!!!i just find out im really very emotional thise few days!!!
VROOM VROOM!!!![nahhs!i dunn follow here]
hidayah shud noe what im talking about lahhs!!!
ayu and farah too!!!
errrmm..that bao hui and jia yu is kpo kpo one...
JIA YU!!! VROOM VRRRRROOOM!!!
BAO HUI STOP ASKING!!!!!:))
okes....
i gtg now lehhs...
post more often eef i cann lorr!!!!
but i know i cant!!!
XD!!!

adilah`` says.VROOM-VROOM!

2006-09-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

walao!!!!wtf!!!:-X!!!!!
i write such a long post quite a few days ago and
*POOF*
it was gone!!!!
idiot right.....must have spent hours on that post cuz its a few thousand words!!!!
angry xia!!!

2006-09-15T09:40:00.000-07:00

created new blog...
suppose to be http://nowhere-is-where-i-belong.blogspot.com
but in the end cannot so change lor!!!
anyway not using the other account already..
as you can see the tag is the same as in alpha blog...
cause` i use the same account for chatbox...
so dunn mind it yeahhs??
yahhs....so today....hmm..
ok lahhs.....
in emotional mood nowadays...
dunch no why...
and farah;trust me!!!i still love him!!!!
i really DO!!!
during mt lesson wanted to know if everything is alright in kyaw's life...
but then shaMEAN hidayah they all made me in such a BAD mood..
i nearly shouted that im not what they think i am!!!

hidayah,aper-aper lahh!!!i just wanted to konw...why must you look at me like that
very hurt know...yeshh...memang aku raser dier handsome..tapi aku tak suker dier..
i still love *****!!!!pls dunnch do that to me anymore...anyway,VROOM VROOM!!!
bulls`eye .lols!!!

vroom vroom vroom
i love vrooming!!
vroom to alot of ppl today!!!
jia yu;u do the vroom just now very cute xia!!!
lols!!!!

stupid evil mother!!!hate you!!!!idiot!!!
my bro play the comp in the morning,afternoon and night;
altogether 5 to 6 hours!!!!can lahhs!!!
i blog fer awhile then slap my face....i hate my brothers...
blogging is the onli way i cann release my stress...
seriously,i hate them...my family!!!!
they always make me look so not in the family!!!!everything i do is all
wrong!!!never right...and my mum dotes toooooo much on my fucking irritating p5 brother!!!
he gets nearly everything!!but me?!! nah-ah!!! no no fer adilah....
fucking biassed lahhh...abhor/despise/detest/hate!!!

yahhs...took alpha test...actually not like test lehhs...
never mind..wunn post that...later my NCOs get scolded...
LOLs!!sorry sorry!!!!
then kana scolded for the second training last last week!!!!
wth!!!!:X
i strongly disagree with staff ok!!!!
he wann scold me!!!
go ahead...wanna critisize me?!! go onn!!!
i respect him but...

;dearest staff bing hong
we really LOVE drills!!!wann to be better...k fine!!
admit that our drills sucks to the core!!!
but dunn get angry fer something like that can?
i dunn like it when uu do that pls!!!
sorry if i say until very rude la wor...
but seriously,if mam allow,why NOT you??
pls consider it!!!!thankiess<3~~~!!!

then went to DnT to help farah and hidayah!!!
in then end made the wooden thingy into my name!!
half of my name;ADI...
no lah!!!!bluekks!!!
so i guess i will give it to my bro..
his name is zulfadly;adi...
called him adi..
.afterall,he's still my bro!.

manage to leave the DnT room before kana clean the place...
with farah and hidayah!!!:))
then went mac across the school!!
ate mcCHICKEN and bought double cheese burger...
in the end ate the mcCHICKEN...
DCB bring home to eat!!!!

go home,saw my bro play comp..
i wanted to play but fell asleep!!!
so pathetic wor??
nbm...then wake up..
at ten...saw him play comp. again...
so i grab it away...
started blogging....
found the veri nice blogskin...
ok to me nice la!!!
:)im so insane...
yahhs!!now the time is already 1.03am...
so i've gotta dive into my swimming pool in lala land!!!
think of him!!!!love him lortts sia!!!!

ok then till here~!
ADILAHwentTOlalalandWITH*****